I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
