I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
