I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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