In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
