If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
