i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
