I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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