No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
