A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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