didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
