This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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