can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
