I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
