we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
