Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize