I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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