Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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