i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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