David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
