Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
