Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
