That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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