I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
