Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize