that's an acceptable place to lick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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