I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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