Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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