hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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