the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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