how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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