Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
His nipple licking is glorious
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