I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
