His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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