No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
