I don't usually arrange sex via text message
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
