The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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