you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
