I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
