he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
