i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
