How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
