What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
