Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
