This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
