Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
