I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
