It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
