i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
