i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
