using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
