I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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