covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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