why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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