Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
