Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
