I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
