if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
