porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
