I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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