hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
