I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize