Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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