Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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