So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
